Strange scales

10 of the weirdest units of measurement humans actually used

Image: Towfiqu barbhuiya

Measuring the world is a human necessity, and throughout history, we’ve used some truly strange units. From the height of a monkey to the speed of beard growth, here are 10 of the weirdest—and funniest—measures ever recorded. Not the most practical, but undeniably fun!

Image: Tim Mossholder

A beard-second is the distance a beard grows in one second, roughly 5 nanometers. The unit originated in physics as a playful way to express extremely small lengths.

Although humorous, it can actually be used to illustrate minuscule distances, and some textbooks and teachers use it to make abstract concepts more relatable.

Image: Sam Carter

In medieval Scandinavia, a sheephead was a unit of weight for butter and cheese, representing roughly 30–40 pounds.

Units like this emerged from agricultural economies, where livestock products were common commodities. Though forgotten today, historical accounting records show widespread use of animal-based measures for commerce.

Image: Toomas Tartes

Another humorous velocity unit is the furlong per fortnight: a furlong equals 220 yards, and a fortnight represents 14 days. This means one furlong per fortnight is about 0.000116 meters per second.

Mostly used as a joke among scientists, it highlights the sometimes absurd combinations of units that can arise.

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In 17th-century England, a "monkey" was a unit of weight for Indian textiles, equal to roughly 7.5 pounds. The name likely came from playful trade jargon rather than any connection to the weight of an actual monkey.

It facilitated commerce between Britain and its colonies, and historical trade documents preserve its use in textile contracts.

Image: Artur Solarz

An old temperature scale, where 0°R marked the freezing point of water and 80°R its boiling point. Named after René-Antoine Ferchault de Réaumur, it was widely used in France and parts of Europe until the early 20th century.

Though now mostly obsolete, Réaumur thermometers survive in antique collections and are still occasionally referenced in traditional cheesemaking guides.

Image: Stephan Frolov

A Scottish unit of land measurement, the "sheep’s eye" was said to be based on how far a sheep could see—roughly 30 meters.

This intuitive measure allowed local farmers to discuss land informally before precise surveying tools existed.

Image: Erol Ahmed

A gross equals 144 items, or 12 dozen. Traders historically used it for bulk counting and wholesale commerce. The term comes from the Old French grosse douzaine, meaning "large dozen."

Still common in packaging and manufacturing, gross is often a practical unit when large quantities are involved.

Image: Scott Webb

A British unit of weight, the stone is standardized at 14 pounds. It was traditionally used for weighing people and animals and is still in use in parts of the UK today.

While most of the world now uses metric units (and the modern imperial system in the US), the stone persists in Britain and Ireland as a traditional measure.

Image: Bernd Dittrich

A "smoot" equals 5 feet, 7 inches—the height of Oliver Smoot, a MIT student. In 1958, MIT students used Smoot’s height to measure the Harvard Bridge in Boston.

The bridge was humorously marked in Smoots with chalk during the experiment, and the unit stuck—today, the bridge still has "Smoot" markings.

Image: fred crandon

A barrel unit that varied by region, the hogshead typically measured 63 gallons for wine or 54 gallons for beer. Used as early as the 15th century, it helped standardize liquid trade.

The term’s origin is obscure, possibly a mispronunciation of "oxhead." Hogsheads were important for commerce in both colonial America and Europe.

Some names stick around

From Table Tap Joe to Ziggy Stardust: Who are the best song characters?

Sometimes, a character is the perfect alter-ego to write a song about oneself without self-referencing so much. Other times, a character is just a character. Over the years, musicians have come up with lonely dreamers, fearless heroes, mysterious strangers, and even supernatural villains who have become just as famous as the songs themselves. Some were inspired by real people, others sprang entirely from imagination, but all of them left a lasting mark on music history. Which of these 12 do you remember?

Tom Waits has always had a soft spot for society's oddballs, and few are even stranger than Table Top Joe. Introduced on the 2002 album Alice, Joe is born with only a head and hands, yet grows into a brilliant piano player whose extraordinary talent earns him fame despite the odds stacked against him.

The song unfolds like a forgotten American folk tale, complete with references to Coney Island's legendary Dreamland amusement park and composer Igor Stravinsky. Although many listeners assume the story is based on an old carnival legend, Table Top Joe is entirely Tom Waits' own creation.

Few fictional musicians have ever become as famous as Ziggy Stardust. Introduced in 1972, Ziggy is an alien rock star sent to Earth shortly before humanity's end, only to be consumed by the very fame that makes him a savior to millions.

David Bowie blurred the line between fiction and reality by performing as Ziggy onstage for more than a year. When he unexpectedly announced Ziggy's retirement during a concert at London's Hammersmith Odeon in 1973, many fans believed the character, and perhaps Bowie himself, had truly reached the end of the story.

Tommy Walker isn't just the hero of a song, he's the central figure of one of rock music's first great operas. After witnessing a traumatic event as a child, Tommy becomes deaf, mute, and blind, yet somehow develops astonishing pinball skills that transform him into an unlikely celebrity.

Pete Townshend built an entire musical world around Tommy, exploring themes of trauma, faith, and redemption. First released in 1969, Tommy later became a hit film, a Broadway production, and one of the most influential concept albums ever recorded.

Johnny B. Goode is every aspiring musician's dream. Growing up in rural Louisiana with little more than a guitar and natural talent, he plays so brilliantly that listeners predict "his name will be in lights."

Chuck Berry based the character partly on himself and partly on pianist Johnnie Johnson. Originally described as a "colored boy," Johnny became a "country boy" in the final lyrics, making the song more likely to receive airplay during the segregation era. Nearly two decades later, Johnny's anthem would even travel into space aboard NASA's Voyager Golden Record.

Few fictional characters have captured loneliness as powerfully as Eleanor Rigby. She quietly moves through life unnoticed, while Father McKenzie delivers sermons that no one hears, creating one of popular music's saddest portraits of isolation.

Paul McCartney later explained that Eleanor's name came from actress Eleanor Bron and the Liverpool shop Rigby & Evens. The discovery of an actual Eleanor Rigby gravestone in Liverpool only deepened the song's mystique, though McCartney maintained the coincidence was unintentional.

Billie Jean may be one of pop music's most famous women, yet Michael Jackson insisted she wasn't a real person. Instead, she represented several women who falsely claimed that he had fathered their children during the height of the Jackson 5's fame.

Released in 1983 as part of Thriller, the song became a global phenomenon. It also provided the stage for Jackson's legendary moonwalk during Motown 25.

Unlike many legendary song characters, Stagger Lee actually existed. His real name was Lee Shelton, a St. Louis criminal who murdered Billy Lyons during an argument over a hat on Christmas Eve in 1895.

The shocking crime quickly entered American folklore through countless folk songs before Lloyd Price transformed it into a chart-topping hit in 1958. More than a century later, Stagger Lee remains one of the most enduring antiheroes in American music.

Tom Dooley was inspired by Thomas Dula, a Confederate veteran executed in North Carolina in 1868 after being convicted of murdering Laura Foster. His surname was locally pronounced "Dooley," giving the ballad its familiar title.

The Kingston Trio revived the old Appalachian folk song in 1958, turning it into an international hit and helping launch America's folk music revival.

When the narrator of "Lola" meets an intriguing stranger in a Soho nightclub, expectations quickly give way to surprise. Ray Davies crafted one of rock's earliest mainstream stories exploring gender ambiguity, decades before the topic entered popular conversation.

The recording rarely reached British radio. Because BBC rules prohibited commercial product names, Davies had to interrupt a U.S. tour and fly back to London simply to replace the lyric "Coca-Cola" with the now-famous "cherry cola."

Unlike most famous song characters, the Piano Man is really Billy Joel himself. Before becoming a superstar, Joel spent six months in 1972 and 1973 performing under the pseudonym Bill Martin at the Executive Room, a piano bar in Los Angeles, after becoming trapped in a bad recording contract. The song transforms those experiences into a bittersweet portrait of ordinary people searching for escape at the end of another week.

Joel has said that virtually every character in the song was based on a real person, from bartender John to "Paul, the real estate novelist" and Davy, who really was in the Navy. Yet the Piano Man himself became the story's most enduring character: a quiet observer who offers music as a brief refuge for dreamers, lonely souls, and regulars alike. More than fifty years after its 1973 release, "Piano Man" remains Billy Joel's signature song, and its title has effectively become his lifelong nickname.

Standing nearly seven feet tall and missing an arm, Amos Moses roams the Louisiana swamps hunting alligators. Jerry Reed filled the song with colorful Southern expressions and exaggerated storytelling that make Amos feel like an authentic folk legend.

Although fictional, Amos embodies the larger-than-life heroes found throughout American tall tales. His adventures turned the song into one of Reed's biggest crossover hits and secured Amos a permanent place among country music's greatest characters.

Big Bad John hardly says a word, but he doesn't have to. The towering coal miner earns everyone's respect through quiet strength before sacrificing his own life to save fellow workers when a mine collapses.

Jimmy Dean's 1961 ballad became a smash hit, winning a Grammy and inspiring several sequel songs. More than sixty years later, Big Bad John still stands as one of country music's defining working-class heroes.