Customer success vocabulary

This is why receptionists must never use the word "unfortunately"

There's a reason why a handful of phrases keep coming at us from public-facing workers across many industries. Decades and decades of trial and error have taught brands which words put customers at ease, which expressions to reach for, and which to avoid at all costs — like "unfortunately" or "I don’t know that." Let's explore 10 of the vocabulary tools used by waiters, hosts, receptionists, and customer service reps, and the real reasoning behind each one.

Have you ever been left wondering why your waitress keeps speaking in the first-person plural? That plural "we" has a name: linguists call it "the royal we", or nosism, meaning the substitution of a group pronoun for a singular one. Monarchs used it for centuries to speak as though they embodied an entire nation; King Edward VII was still doing it in official documents as late as 1902.

It’s unclear when restaurant servers picked up the habit, but it works. By including themselves in the sentence, waiters imply that every step of the dining experience is a team activity that they lead gladly.

When you thank your barista, receptionist, or cashier, you are more likely to hear "no problem" than "you’re welcome". This one stems from naturally friendly and gallant behavior that has set in society in recent decades.

Linguist Aaron Dinkin studied the phenomenon in 2017 and confirmed that younger speakers had opted out of "you’re welcome," since it suggests that effort was spent and is being graciously accepted. "No problem" is a humble assurance that the help cost nothing at all, even if it’s a little white lie at least half of the time.

Here’s something a customer never wants to hear: "Unfortunately, there’s nothing I can do about that." Experts advise never to use that adverb in the face of a customer’s problem, since it suggests the company is powerless or worse, indifferent.

Instead, the magic words to use are these: "Here's what I'm going to do for you." That will instantly please a customer who is looking for possible solutions. The phrase can be traced back to a 1980 policy at the Ritz-Carlton, where co-founder Horst Schulze gave every employee the authority to spend up to $2,000 per guest fixing a problem on the spot.

In 1936, Dale Carnegie wrote in How to Win Friends and Influence People that a person's name is "the sweetest and most important sound in any language," and customer service training is careful to apply that wisdom.

Hearing your own name signals that you're being treated as a person rather than a ticket number. Modern software made the trick easier, since caller ID and account records now hand an agent your name before they've said hello. It can backfire, though; hearing one’s name repeatedly in the middle of a heated conversation can become irritating and sound like mockery.

An alternative to this one is "that would upset me, too." These phrases are a nod to the notion that the client is always right. Companies now admit that the latter is not necessarily true, though, but that often, indulging a customer's complaint, however unreasonable, is cheaper than losing their trust.

"That shouldn't have happened" updates the idea: it validates how a customer feels without declaring them factually correct. Researchers coined the term "service recovery paradox" in 1992 after finding that customers who complain and get an empathetic, competent response often end up more loyal than customers who never had a problem at all.

The two most empathetic words an agent can say are these. The concept behind it is called "active listening." It was so named in a 1957 essay by psychologist Carl Rogers and Richard Farson, and it didn't come from business at all. It came from Rogers's therapy sessions, where he found that people couldn't move toward a solution until they felt genuinely heard first.

Sales trainers later built an entire technique around the same insight, nicknamed "Feel, Felt, Found," which opens with exactly this line before pivoting to a fix. The order matters more than the words, because agents know that offering a solution before acknowledging the feeling can make people argue harder.

This is the go-to sentence to use instead of a dreaded "I can't help you with that." In the industry, this is called a "warm transfer," as opposed to the far more common and far more resented "cold transfer," where you're bounced to a stranger who has no idea why you called and makes you start over. Ideally, a rep will personally explain your problem to another expert and build a bigger team to come up with solutions.

This is the euphemism phrase to use in place of "I don't know." It’s friendly, humble, and a preamble to a brief research that will follow. Technically, saying "That’s a great question" in a conversation is a stalling tactic. It borrows a few seconds through flattery while the brain scrambles for an answer.

In 1963, a Worcester, Massachusetts commercial artist named Harvey Ball was paid $45 to design a simple smiling face for an insurance company, State Mutual Life Assurance, meant only to boost employee morale. Seven years later, two Philadelphia brothers paired the design with the words "Have a Happy Day," soon changed to "Have a Nice Day," trademarked the combination, and sold more than 50 million pins by 1972.

The four words have now become the obligatory send-away greeting that some businesses even write in their windows. It has also become the default sign-off for practically every customer transaction in America; "goodbye" might sound too dramatic.

"Found everything ok?" That question usually greets customers when they reach the cashier in retail stores. It can be traced back to Walmart's national "People Greeter" program in the 1980s, designed to do two things at once: make shoppers feel noticed and discourage theft.

The restaurant version of the same check-in is the "How’s everything?" a few minutes after bringing the food to the table. Waiters are trained to ask this to spot possible complaints early on, and also to remind customers that someone’s paying attention to their experience.

How about Ezra?

Time for a comeback: 12 great names that nobody uses anymore

Image: Nattalia Nuñez

As with many other things in life, baby names follow trends. In certain decades, thousands of Michaels seem to appear from everywhere, only to be overshadowed by legions of James in the next. For this very reason, we don’t hear of many babies named Herbert, or Edna anymore. So, if you are in the market for a baby name, maybe you can pick one that is not being over-used these days. Here are 12 suggestions for you!

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As George Carlin once said, strong names create strong men. So, why not give your boy a good old-fashioned serious name, like Clifford? This name of English and Germanic origin was once a last name meaning "ford by the cliff."

Image: Jeremiah Lawrence

Once a popular name in the past century, Mildred seems to have fallen out of favor in recent decades and it is currently hard to find anybody named Mildred who doesn’t have grey hair. This Anglo-Saxon name is composed of mild ("mild") and þryð ("power), meaning "gentle strength."

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A name that evokes a time gone by, Longfellow is a poetic name that was in demand back in the early 20th century. The name of English origin means, to no one’s surprise, "tall one."

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If the last person named Ethel you remember is Ethel Merman, you are not alone. This aristocratic name means "Noble," and it has been sitting on the bleachers for far too long. Ethel is the short form of Etheldreda and was first used as an independent name in the 1840s.

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A name that was popular in the mid-20th century, Laverne has two different meanings. And one of them is much more flattering than the other, at least for most. According to Roman mythology, Laverna was the goddess of thieves, which doesn’t sound all that great. But the French origin for this name means "springlike." Much more agreeable.

Image: Jamie Coupaud

This name has been used until not so long ago but it has lost some of its popularity in recent years. This boy’s name has Latin origins and it means "bright." Not a bad omen for a baby!

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A popular name when The Flintstones cartoon was originally airing, due to the leading character Wilma Flintstone, this name of German origin is a short version of Wilhelmina, meaning "will helmet."

Image: Juan Encalada

Bessie was originally a nickname for Elizabeth but it became a name in its own right quite some time ago. And, while it was a popular name back in the day, it has since fallen out of use.

Image: Kelly Romano

A serious name, indeed, Jethro is rarely heard these days. It has a biblical meaning in Hebrew scripture, where Jethro was an illustrious figure, renowned for his wisdom and leadership.

Image: Jimmy Conover

A strong name for a strong girl, Gertrude is derived from Germanic roots meaning "spear" and "strength." And, if the name sounds too serious, Gertrudes can also go by the shorter nickname, Trudy.

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It may sound like a granny name but no one can deny that it has a lot of character and personality. And, besides, its German roots add a deeper meaning to it, since it translates to "the bright one."

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Yes, it may sound like an antiquated name. Yes, the only known reference to it is the Warner Brothers cartoon, Elmer Fudd. But, still, it is a great name and no one is using it. This name of British origin means "noble" and "famous."