Customer success vocabulary

This is why receptionists must never use the word "unfortunately"

There's a reason why a handful of phrases keep coming at us from public-facing workers across many industries. Decades and decades of trial and error have taught brands which words put customers at ease, which expressions to reach for, and which to avoid at all costs — like "unfortunately" or "I don’t know that." Let's explore 10 of the vocabulary tools used by waiters, hosts, receptionists, and customer service reps, and the real reasoning behind each one.

Have you ever been left wondering why your waitress keeps speaking in the first-person plural? That plural "we" has a name: linguists call it "the royal we", or nosism, meaning the substitution of a group pronoun for a singular one. Monarchs used it for centuries to speak as though they embodied an entire nation; King Edward VII was still doing it in official documents as late as 1902.

It’s unclear when restaurant servers picked up the habit, but it works. By including themselves in the sentence, waiters imply that every step of the dining experience is a team activity that they lead gladly.

When you thank your barista, receptionist, or cashier, you are more likely to hear "no problem" than "you’re welcome". This one stems from naturally friendly and gallant behavior that has set in society in recent decades.

Linguist Aaron Dinkin studied the phenomenon in 2017 and confirmed that younger speakers had opted out of "you’re welcome," since it suggests that effort was spent and is being graciously accepted. "No problem" is a humble assurance that the help cost nothing at all, even if it’s a little white lie at least half of the time.

Here’s something a customer never wants to hear: "Unfortunately, there’s nothing I can do about that." Experts advise never to use that adverb in the face of a customer’s problem, since it suggests the company is powerless or worse, indifferent.

Instead, the magic words to use are these: "Here's what I'm going to do for you." That will instantly please a customer who is looking for possible solutions. The phrase can be traced back to a 1980 policy at the Ritz-Carlton, where co-founder Horst Schulze gave every employee the authority to spend up to $2,000 per guest fixing a problem on the spot.

In 1936, Dale Carnegie wrote in How to Win Friends and Influence People that a person's name is "the sweetest and most important sound in any language," and customer service training is careful to apply that wisdom.

Hearing your own name signals that you're being treated as a person rather than a ticket number. Modern software made the trick easier, since caller ID and account records now hand an agent your name before they've said hello. It can backfire, though; hearing one’s name repeatedly in the middle of a heated conversation can become irritating and sound like mockery.

An alternative to this one is "that would upset me, too." These phrases are a nod to the notion that the client is always right. Companies now admit that the latter is not necessarily true, though, but that often, indulging a customer's complaint, however unreasonable, is cheaper than losing their trust.

"That shouldn't have happened" updates the idea: it validates how a customer feels without declaring them factually correct. Researchers coined the term "service recovery paradox" in 1992 after finding that customers who complain and get an empathetic, competent response often end up more loyal than customers who never had a problem at all.

The two most empathetic words an agent can say are these. The concept behind it is called "active listening." It was so named in a 1957 essay by psychologist Carl Rogers and Richard Farson, and it didn't come from business at all. It came from Rogers's therapy sessions, where he found that people couldn't move toward a solution until they felt genuinely heard first.

Sales trainers later built an entire technique around the same insight, nicknamed "Feel, Felt, Found," which opens with exactly this line before pivoting to a fix. The order matters more than the words, because agents know that offering a solution before acknowledging the feeling can make people argue harder.

This is the go-to sentence to use instead of a dreaded "I can't help you with that." In the industry, this is called a "warm transfer," as opposed to the far more common and far more resented "cold transfer," where you're bounced to a stranger who has no idea why you called and makes you start over. Ideally, a rep will personally explain your problem to another expert and build a bigger team to come up with solutions.

This is the euphemism phrase to use in place of "I don't know." It’s friendly, humble, and a preamble to a brief research that will follow. Technically, saying "That’s a great question" in a conversation is a stalling tactic. It borrows a few seconds through flattery while the brain scrambles for an answer.

In 1963, a Worcester, Massachusetts commercial artist named Harvey Ball was paid $45 to design a simple smiling face for an insurance company, State Mutual Life Assurance, meant only to boost employee morale. Seven years later, two Philadelphia brothers paired the design with the words "Have a Happy Day," soon changed to "Have a Nice Day," trademarked the combination, and sold more than 50 million pins by 1972.

The four words have now become the obligatory send-away greeting that some businesses even write in their windows. It has also become the default sign-off for practically every customer transaction in America; "goodbye" might sound too dramatic.

"Found everything ok?" That question usually greets customers when they reach the cashier in retail stores. It can be traced back to Walmart's national "People Greeter" program in the 1980s, designed to do two things at once: make shoppers feel noticed and discourage theft.

The restaurant version of the same check-in is the "How’s everything?" a few minutes after bringing the food to the table. Waiters are trained to ask this to spot possible complaints early on, and also to remind customers that someone’s paying attention to their experience.

What if?

The scariest near-misses in history you’ve never heard of

Image: The New York Public Library

History is full of near misses—moments where a single decision, accident, or twist of fate could have completely changed the world. From avoided wars to scientific breakthroughs nearly lost, these events remind us how fragile the course of history can be. Here are 10 times history almost took a dramatically different path.

Image: Toby Elliott

Around 70,000 years ago, a supervolcanic eruption in Indonesia nearly wiped out humanity. Genetic evidence suggests that the human population dropped to just a few thousand!

Had the decline been any worse, human civilization might never have recovered or developed as we know it today.

Image: K. Mitch Hodge

The Titanic’s distress flares were seen by the SS Californian, a ship just 10 miles away. However, the captain misinterpreted the signals and failed to respond.

Had the Californian arrived in time, hundreds of lives could have been saved. Instead, the tragedy cemented its place as one of history’s deadliest maritime disasters.

Image: Elimende Inagella

In 1812, Napoleon’s invasion of Russia seemed unstoppable—until an unexpectedly harsh winter decimated his army.

The Russian cold, coupled with severe supply shortages, forced Napoleon’s retreat. Only 10% of his troops survived, marking a turning point in European history.

Image: NASA

During the moon landing, Buzz Aldrin noticed a broken circuit breaker that could have stranded them on the lunar surface. Fortunately, he used a felt-tip pen to fix it.

If the makeshift repair had failed, Neil Armstrong and Aldrin might have been the first men to die on the moon.

Image: Peter Kvetny

In the 14th century, the bubonic plague killed millions. It nearly wiped out entire regions, transforming Europe’s social and economic structure.

If the disease had been slightly more virulent, the Renaissance and Industrial Revolution might never have happened.

Image: Tim Marshall

The Allies originally planned to invade Normandy on June 5, 1944, but a last-minute weather forecast prompted a 24-hour delay.

Had they gone ahead, bad weather could have doomed the invasion. The successful landing on June 6 helped turn the tide of World War II. Fortunately, we learned the lesson from Napoleon!

Image: Mark Stuckey

In 1605, Guy Fawkes’ plot to blow up the English Parliament was foiled at the last minute.

Had it succeeded, much of England’s leadership—including King James I—would have been killed, likely causing a massive power shift.

Image: Dan Meyers

In 1979, a training tape mistakenly showed a full-scale Soviet attack simulation on U.S. computers. Military leaders prepared to launch a counterattack.

The mistake was caught just in time. A nuclear war was narrowly avoided due to human intervention.

Image: Su San Lee

In 1281, a massive Mongol fleet attempted to invade Japan but was wiped out by a typhoon.

The storm, later called the "Divine Wind" (Kamikaze), saved Japan from conquest and altered the course of Asian history.

Image: Oo Jiflip

In 1961, a U.S. B-52 bomber broke apart over North Carolina, dropping two nuclear bombs. One nearly detonated—five of six safety switches had failed.

Had it exploded, the blast would have been 250 times more powerful than Hiroshima, devastating the Eastern Seaboard. The incident remains one of the closest calls in nuclear history.