Wacky history

Lost your dog? Don't cross the border! 10 weirdest wars ever

Image: Museums Victoria

Not all conflicts are fought for power or territory—some "wars" erupted over pies, buckets, and even unsuspecting animals. Human history, it seems, can be incredibly unpredictable. From bizarre misunderstandings to centuries-long stalemates over trivial disputes, here are 10 of the strangest "wars" ever fought.

Image: The Now Time

In 1838, French pastry chef Remontel demanded compensation after his shop in Mexico was looted by soldiers. France sent warships to collect, escalating into an all-out war.

When Mexico refused to pay, France blockaded Veracruz and bombarded the city. The war only ended when Britain mediated, leading to Mexico paying 600,000 pesos to avoid further conflict.

Image: Alex Boyd

A land dispute over a strip of land called the Toledo Strip caused Ohio and Michigan to nearly go to war in the 1830s. The states armed militias but only exchanged minor skirmishes.

The conflict only ended when the federal government intervened, awarding Ohio the disputed land and giving Michigan the Upper Peninsula as compensation.

Image: Alexandra Mirgheș

In 1925, a Greek soldier chased his stray dog across the Bulgarian border and was shot, sparking hostilities. In response, Greece invaded, capturing several villages before the League of Nations intervened.

Greece was ordered to withdraw and pay reparations to Bulgaria. Despite its absurd start, the conflict helped prove the effectiveness of international diplomacy in averting larger wars.

Image: Ricardo Resende

A 20th-century conflict, the Cod Wars were disputes between Iceland and the UK over fishing rights in the North Atlantic. Iceland extended its fishing boundaries several times, angering British trawlers.

Despite no deaths, the confrontations involved ramming ships and cutting nets. Iceland eventually prevailed, asserting control over its waters and reshaping international fishing agreements.

Image: Sharon Co Images

In 1932, Australia deployed soldiers to manage an emu overpopulation wreaking havoc on crops. Using machine guns, they expected an easy victory but were surprisingly outwitted by the agile birds, accomplishing nothing.

The campaign failed spectacularly, and emus remains a humorous symbol of nature’s resistance to human efforts, even to its military might! The government later turned to fencing to manage the problem without making fools of themselves.

Image: Pavlo Semeniuk

In 1325, rival Italian city-states Bologna and Modena clashed when Modenese soldiers stole a bucket from Bologna's city well. A large battle ensued, resulting in well over 2,000 deaths.

Eventually, Modena triumphed, and the bucket is still displayed as a trophy in the city. While the origins of the conflict might seem bizarre, it highlights the intense (and sometimes absurd) rivalries between independent cities in medieval Italy.

Image: Christopher Carson

In 1859, on the still undefined U.S.-Canada border, a stray pig innocently crossed the border to eat vegetables from a neighboring farm, prompting an angry farmer to shoot it. This led to a feud with his neighbor that escalated into a military standoff between American and British forces, which lasted months.

The "war" only ended when the border issue was peacefully resolved through international arbitration. Fortunately, there were no casualties, except for the poor pig.

Image: Clark Young

This conflict between the Netherlands and the Isles of Scilly began during the English Civil War. According to local historians, the small archipelago declared war on the Netherlands but never bothered to sign a peace treaty afterward.

Despite no fighting, it technically lasted over 300 years due to the forgotten declaration of war. In 1986, a peace treaty was finally signed, bringing an end to one of history’s most prolonged and bloodless "wars."

Image: martin bennie

Since the 1970s, Denmark and Canada have engaged in a playful "war" over Hans Island, with each side leaving flags and bottles of whisky or schnapps during their visits.

The dispute was finally resolved in 2022, with the island being split between the two nations. This resolution also resulted in Canada and Denmark sharing a land border, meaning neither country borders just one other—the United States in the case of Canada, and Germany in the case of Denmark.

Image: Maria Angelova

In 1784, the Holy Roman Empire and the Dutch Republic clashed over trade rights, with the Dutch winning the conflict by firing only one shot. The only casualty? A kettle of soup.

Apparently, when the bullet ricocheted off the metal container, the captain became so nervous that he immediately surrendered. While this incident wasn’t the last conflict between the two states, it remains a humorous example of history’s quirks.

OVER-EXTENDED CUTS

Cinematic Marathons: The 10 Longest Movies Ever Made

Image: Georgia Vagim

Prepare your popcorn and settle in for a cinematic marathon because today we are delving into the realm of epic movie lengths. From intricate historical dramas to weird avant-garde experiments, these films push the boundaries of both time and storytelling.

Get ready to test your endurance, and join us to explore 10 of the longest movies ever made.

Image: Klara Kulikova

A four-part epic that spans the whole 20th century, "Siberiade" tells the story of a small Siberian village through various generations as it experiences enormous societal and technological changes over time. Lasting almost five hours, "Siberiade"- like most Soviet films of the era - is kind of slow-paced, and the many characters that keep changing as they grow old over the course of the movie can be a bit complicated to follow sometimes, but its captivating story of love and resilience more than makes up for it.

Image: Annie Spratt

Ingmar Bergman's semi-autobiographical masterpiece follows the tumultuous lives of two siblings in early 20th-century Sweden as they navigate love, loss, and changes in the family. Originally conceived as a television miniseries, a shorter version was created later for cinematic release. However, the TV version was released as an entire movie, making it one of the longest cinematic films in history.

Image: La So

This intense Italian drama unfolds over six hours, following two brothers, Nicola and Matteo, as they go their separate ways through decades of Italian history and societal changes. A beautiful film about youth, love, and the difficult times lived in post-war Europe, it won many awards, including the most prestigious prize at the Cannes Film Festival.

Image: Sam Moghadam Khamseh

French director Jacques Rivette's epic masterpiece, "Out 1" unfolds over nearly 13 hours, weaving together multiple storylines and characters in a labyrinthine narrative. A milestone of avant-garde cinema, "Out 1" challenges viewers to surrender to its immersive world - but, if you are not feeling like spending half a day of your life unraveling it, there is fortunately a somewhat shorter version called "Out 1: Spectre that is only four hours long."

Image: Victória Kubiaki

As the title matter-of-factly implies, "The Longest Most Meaningless Movie in the World" attempts to be exactly that and nothing more. No actual footage was shot for the film, which is entirely comprised of unrelated outtakes, found reels, commercials, newsreels, stock footage, and strips of undeveloped film. I mean, you get the idea… maybe you can just skip this one, unless you are into watching a malfunctioning satellite TV for two days straight.

Image: Annie Spratt

This humorously titled behemoth of a movie spans a staggering 87 hours - 3 days and 15 hours, mind you. In fact, at the time of its release in 1987, it was recognized by the Guinness World Records as the longest film ever. However, the film was created mostly to document a performance art piece by American artist L.D. Groban, who reads his 4,080-page poem called "A Cure for Insomnia" over the span of three days - and the footage is only occasionally spliced with clips from heavy metal and adult videos.

Image: Julia Kadel

Named after the equally intriguing and lovely Russian "matryoshka" dolls, "Matrjoschka" is an experimental film made by German artist Karin Hoerler. The movie has no explicit plot, as all sequences are based on a single photo. First, it shows a boy riding a bicycle, then a street, houses, garages, and finally, the sky. However, movements are so extremely slow that they seem like static images.

Image: Michał Franczak

Finally, a sci-fi movie! Well, technically… Despite being almost unwatchable by human standards, this strangely alluring film made by Danish art collective Superflex explores the transformation of human structures, as it shows how Helsinki's Stora Enso headquarters (a local wood-processing factory) would decay over the next few millennia.

Image: Denise Jans

Luckily for you, you couldn't watch this one even if you wanted to. Swedish director Anders Weberg's final film was expected to have a running time of 720 hours (a whole month, if you are wondering) and was scheduled for release in December 2020, but he never went through with his promise. The day came, and the movie never appeared. Funnily enough, while the full movie never saw the light of the day, the director did release a trailer... a seven-hour-long one! - what else could one expect, right?

Image: Simon Kadula

If modern consumerist society has a plot, it is certainly the plot of this monumental "documentary" made by Erika Magnusson and Daniel Andersson. The film follows the journey of a simple electronic pedometer in reverse chronological order around the world, from the store where it is sold in Stockholm to the Chinese factory where it was originally manufactured. Its length mirrors the complexity and scale of global commerce, and if you ever wondered where manufactured goods come from, this might be the perfect film for you.