COMIC RELIEF

10 Hilarious Quotes from Celebrities That Will Crack You Up

As the famous old saying goes, "A day without laughter is a wasted day," and we couldn’t agree more. In a world where humor is often overshadowed by seriousness, people with the ability to laugh at themselves and the silliness of life are like a refreshing breeze on a hot summer day.

Here we gathered 10 moments of comedic brilliance from the mouths of celebrities, writers, and scientists.

"The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense."

—Tom Clancy

A world-acclaimed writer of many espionage novels and military thrillers, Tom Clancy offers us a humorous insight into the chaotic nature of reality and the difficulties of storytelling. Certainly, reality is always stranger than fiction!

"The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it."

—Terry Pratchett

The late Terry Pratchett, the beloved author of the Discworld fantasy series, delivers here a witty remark typical of his irreverent writing style. An open mind is a gift, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be wary of what you let others put into it.

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe."

—Albert Einstein

Besides being a Nobel laureate and renowned physicist, Albert Einstein was known for his characteristic dry humor and his sarcastic observations about the world. Human nature is paradoxical, we can solve the most complex problems, yet we never seem to completely free ourselves from the yoke of stupidity.

"I’m not offended by blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb…and I also know that I’m not blonde."

—Dolly Parton

The iconic country music star playfully addresses stereotypes about blonde women in this witty retort. Though Parton has nothing to prove, she shows us with charm and flair that humor and self-awareness are always the best defense against insult and prejudice.

"A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it."

—Bob Hope

Legendary comedian Bob Hope offers a tongue-in-cheek commentary on the absurd quirks of bank logic. And surely... what good does a loan to the already rich do?

"Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read."

—Groucho Marx

Groucho Marx, the comedic genius behind the Marx Brothers, delivers here one of his hilarious yet absurd jokes. Humor can certainly be found in the most unexpected places, even inside the belly of an unsuspecting dog!

"Life isn't a fairytale. If you lose a shoe at midnight, you're drunk."

—Darynda Jones

American novelist Darynda Jones offers a humorous twist on the classic Cinderella story by comparing it to reality. We would only like to add that if your Uber also looks like a pumpkin carriage, you might be better off just walking home.

"I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not quite sure."

—Tommy Cooper

Tommy Cooper was a master of slapstick comedy and absurd humor, and this quote attributed to him encapsulates his personality perfectly. Jokes aside, having a good sense of humor can actually help indecisive people gain more confidence in themselves!

"I can resist everything except temptation."

—Oscar Wilde

This famous quip of Oscar Wilde captures the essence of his playful yet thoughtful philosophy. Besides making you laugh, hopefully this quote can help lighten up a bit those moments when we feel like we aren’t living up to our expectations—like when you can’t help buying a ton of ice cream right after starting a new diet.

"When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick."

—George Burns

Legendary comedian George Burns offers a humorous reflection on the passage of time with this amusing remark. Unfortunately, he might be right, as the Dead Sea is actually shrinking at a swift pace.

Not so happy originally

10 original tales behind famous Disney movies

Disney movies have adapted several beloved fairy tales and stories, which means that, for those who experienced these stories as movies for the first time, coming across the original tales can be shocking, as they are quite different, and sometimes even scary and gory.

Most of Disney's movies are intended for children, so these stories had to be adapted and often softened for the audience. Let’s see how Disney changed famous stories when making them into movies.

This 1837 story by Hans Christian Andersen is, at first sight, similar to its movie adaptation. Yes, in the original, the Little Mermaid feels sharp pains each time she walks, but other elements remain. However, the main difference is in the ending: before the prince’s wedding, the sea witch tasks the Little Mermaid with killing the prince in order to live, but she prefers to die herself and turn into sea foam.

The 1950 version of Cinderella also follows most of the original story. Most of the differences with the Brothers Grimm’s version come from elements added by Disney, such as the Fairy Godmother and the singing mice. But there is one gory element that needed to be changed before making a children’s movie: in the tale, Cinderella’s stepsisters, trying to fit into the crystal slipper, resort to cutting parts of their feet.

The first full-length Disney animated movie, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves was a resounding success. However, the story has some differences when compared to the original story by the Brothers Grimm. When the Queen gives Snow white the poisoned apple, it is not a true love’s kiss that wakes her. The prince sees her lying in her crystal coffin and wants to take her with him. When he moves the coffin, the piece of apple that’s still in her throat moves, and she wakes up. As punishment, the Queen is made to dance in shoes made from hot iron until she falls dead.

When watching this lovely musical, it is difficult to imagine that it comes from a lengthy novel filled with tales of vengeance, obsession, social disparities, and a tragic ending. In Notre-Dame de Paris by Victor Hugo, Quasimodo is deaf and nearly mute, and he is isolated from the world. Frollo, an archdeacon inamoured by the young Esmeralda, accuses her of witchcraft and ultimately succeeds in killing her, while Frollo, instead of the chivalrous young man portrayed by Disney, takes advantage of Esmeralda but abandons her in her time of need.

A reimagination of the 19th-century Rapunzel by the Brothers Grimm, the Disney version adds many elements to the story, such as the magical properties of the hair or Rapunzel being a stolen princess. In the original, Rapunzel’s parents give her away as payment for a stolen lettuce. When a prince comes across her tower, they fall in love, but they are tricked by the witch, with the prince falling into a thorny bush and hurting his eyes. Luckily, there is a happy ending where they are reunited, and Rapunzel’s tears restore the prince’s sight.

This 2009 version, set in New Orleans, is only loosely based on several classic tales featuring a prince-turned-frog. While in the Disney version, the kiss turns Tiana into a frog, in the classic fairy tale, the princess, disgusted by the idea of kissing the frog prince, throws him violently against the wall. Luckily for him, it works just as well as a kiss, and he returns to his original form.

The main fairytale behind this Disney classic is of French origin. In it, the reason for Belle’s arrival at the castle is quite different: her father steals a rose from the Beast’s garden and is imprisoned. Belle’s sisters blame her for their father’s misfortunes and demand that she stay in his place. She goes to the castle, filled with invisible servants, where the Beast tries to make her fall in love with him. After being allowed to visit her family, she returns to find the Beast dying. After professing her love, the Beast turns into a prince, and they live happily ever after.

Loosely based on Hans Christian Andersen’s The Snow Queen, Disney’s Frozen turns a dark story featuring a villainous Queen into a tale of sisterly love. In the original story, Gerda (the inspiration behind the character of Anna) goes on a quest to rescue her friend Kai from the clutches of the evil Snow Queen. Ultimately, her tears are able to melt the ice shards in Kai’s heart and save him.

Inspired by the 1883 Italian novel The Adventures of Pinocchio by Carlo Collodi, the Disney movie gives us a much more tame version of the story. In the original, Pinocchio is rude and cruel. Often chastised by Jiminy Cricket, he ends up killing him and is punished in consequence. A moral tale about disobedience and laziness, the original Pinocchio is only able to turn into a human boy after working hard and learning to care for others.

As with most mythological stories, the original tale of Hercules is quite tragic, and not the happy ending story presented by Disney. A product of the affair of Zeus with a mortal woman, Hercules is hated by Hera, Zeus’ wife, who drives him mad. While out of his mind, he murders his wife, Megara, and their children. To atone for this crime, he performs 12 seemingly impossible labours. In the end, Hercules dies after being poisoned, but he is eventually turned into a god by Zeus.